Before I get started, I would like to bug you and request that you go and “like” my friend Mandii’s photography page on Facebook (Mandii Marie Photography). After you “like” her page, go here (Harper’s Picture) and “like” Harper’s picture. I’m trying to win a free photo session for him. Even if you don’t “like” his picture you should still “like” Mandii’s photo page because she is amazing. She did my maternity pictures and they were truly incredible! She’s talented – like whoa!
Okay…enough of that. Harper is napping so I get about 30-40 minutes of downtime. I figured I’d spend it blogging. My friend Susanna asked me this past weekend what my favorite part of motherhood was. She also asked what my least favorite part was. It kind of took me by surprise because I hadn’t really thought about it. Sure, I’ve had moments where I think “this sucks” or “this is awesome” but I just hadn’t thought about what my favorite/least favorite parts of it might be. I’ve thought about it since she asked and I think my least favorite part is clipping Harper’s fingernails. I’m dead serious. I get SO nervous every time and those things grow like weeds, so I have to clip them every week. I’m just so afraid of hurting him. I hate doing it!
My favorite part? I still don’t know. There are just too many things that I love about this. I love how I feel when I look at him. I swear there are times when I feel as if my heart might burst. I love his smile and his laugh. I love holding him while he sleeps. I love feeling needed. I love his fake cry and his pouty lip. I love listening to Benji read to him at bedtime. Seriously…I could never pick a favorite, but all this did get me thinking about life before Harper and how much things have changed.
I remember how terrified I was in the weeks leading up to Harper’s birth. I was mostly afraid of the change that was coming. I just didn’t know what to expect. I remember crying to Benji one night because I was afraid of how our relationship would change. He was great as usual and just encouraged me. He told me that yes, our relationship would change, but it would be for the better – we would have to be more of a team once Harper arrived. He was right.
I’m seeing now that motherhood met and exceeded my expectations in many ways. I love, love, love it!
Here are a few things that have changed about me since moving to the hood:
- The news sickens me. I think about the world that Harper will be growing up in and the evil that is out there and I worry. At the same time, I have a hope that he will be a light in the darkness that will surround him.
- I’m less critical of my body. I have stretch marks and I kinda love them…a lot.
- My heart has softened. It was already pretty soft to begin with, but now it’s close to the consistency of melted butter. Before, it was about the consistency of mashed potatoes. I love mashed potatoes.
- I like hugs a lot more than I used to.
- I cry more often (you should see what happens when I watch an episode of A Baby Story).
- It drives me INSANE when my house isn’t clean (and it hasn’t been since Harper’s been around).
- I finally understand just how much my parents love me.
- My mom has become one of my best friends. She really knows her stuff when it comes to babies. I mean…she only had FOUR! I’d probably go to her for advice before turning to Google, and that’s saying something because I love Google! Hi, ma!
- Coffee. Yum.
- I appreciate silence, but I also appreciate the noise in my life. I like it loud.
- Before Harper, I thought it was mandatory to get eight hours. Now I feel blessed if I get four consecutive hours of sleep. Not only that, but I actually feel refreshed if I get that much LOL.
- Most importantly, I think I have a better understanding of God’s love for me. I know I can never fully grasp it, but I get it now.
So yeah…that’s it for now. I could write more, but I hear a little Harp stirring!