Monthly Archives: February 2012

Driftwood

I’m gonna go ahead and make a public plea that my¬†husband does not kill me when he sees this ūüôā

Benji gives me a poem for V-day every year. It has been a tradition since our first year of marriage. He has such a beautiful way of saying things, and constantly puts things in perspective for me. I’m so thankful that God gave me a man who can help me see the things that matter and the things that don’t on a daily basis, and especially during the hard times.

Driftwood

Like Noah, we’ve gathered everything that made up our life, and built a boat around it.
(Unlike Noah, we’ve done it more than once.)
We’ve trusted the sea and Providence to move us and beach us where they saw fit.
There have been times when there was nothing left of our ark, but a ragged plank
And me clinging to you, or you clinging to me; holding each other’s head above the freezing water
Dreaming of hot Alabama summers.
We’ve always washed up on some shore safely, somehow.
Now, as the drizzle starts to fall, and we begin to consider the beginning of the buidling of arks,
Let’s try to remember how we washed up alright before.
We’ve always gotten help when we needed it most,
We’ve always kept each other from drowning,
And we will again.
Wherever the floods take us, we’re lucky.
Lucky to still have each other, when others have drowned.
Lucky to still have a boat, even when it’s only a plank.¬†

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Nothing Gold Can Stay

I never get to hold my baby anymore. If he’s awake, he’s roaming around, discovering, touching and destroying things. If he’s asleep, he’s in his crib – he won’t go to sleep if we’re holding him. Just won’t do it.¬†

He fell asleep in the car today and I managed to get him out without waking him – what an achievement! Instead of putting him straight into his crib, I decided to sit in the rocking chair with him and do that creepy parent thing where you just stare at your child and think “how are they mine?”

I was reeeeeeeeeeeeaaaally soaking it up Рthe sounds of his breathing, the innocence of his face, the small jerky movements of a person falling into deeper sleep Рand then I started thinking about stuff crap.

“I need to fold the towels. I need to do the dishes. Man…I REALLY need to wash my hair…it’s gross. This is me time. I need to use it while I have it.” etc. etc. etc.

And out of no where “Nothing Gold Can Stay” by Robert Frost popped into my head. I saw Harper as a young boy, a teenager and then as a man on his wedding day. Before I knew it, I was crying because I realized a day will come when I won’t be able to hold him anymore. A day will come when I’ll have to let him go.

I’ve always known this, I just try not to think about it. It’s one of those truths in life that, while being good, still hurts like hell. Today I was thankful for the reminder though. My days are numbered and I need to live them. I need to soak up every moment with my little boy. And I need to cherish the moments that I am fortunate enough to spend holding him because I’m not promised anymore.

Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.