I’m kind of freaking out about being in the THIRD trimester! While I was pregnant with Harper, time seemed to stand still. My due date couldn’t get here fast enough. This time around, it feels exactly the opposite. Time is flying by! And honestly…I don’t want it to. Partly because I know how much I will miss being pregnant (no matter how much it sucks at times) and partly because I am terrified of having a newborn again (um…PLUS a toddler). Holy cow!
I keep telling people that I’m scared of newborns, but that’s not really true. I’m actually just scared of the things that come with having a newborn —> anxiety and yucky postpartum depression. I dread feeling the way I felt for the first three months of Harper’s life. Part of me is hoping that I only felt that way because I was alone in Memphis…and because I was a clueless first time mom. Only time will tell, I guess. But rest assured, my doctors will be on speed dial this time. I will not suffer through it like I did in Memphis.
I had my first prenatal appointment since moving to Alabama on Sept. 11th. We moved on July 28th, and had to wait for our new insurance to become effective, and then we had problems with the cards (they put the wrong effective date on them). So I ended up having to go a lot longer between appointments than I had originally anticipated.
While still in Virginia I did look into some providers that I would want to see once I got here, but I was a total slacker once we finally arrived. I did absolutely nothing to try to find a doctor and I just kept telling myself that I would wait until the insurance worked itself out before finding a provider. I was secretly hoping that something would just fall into my lap. Yeah…I hate making decisions.
My midwife in Virginia had given me a website (www.acnm.org) to help with finding another certified nurse midwife once I got here. She gave me this website back in May and when I looked, there was a grand total of ONE practice that had CNMs for the whole Montgomery area. Umm…yes, folks…ONE! I was interested in going to this practice, but between having pregnancy brain and then going four months before setting up the actual appointment, I totally forgot all about it!
On Monday, I was hanging out with my cousin Grace (hey, Grace!!) and watching Breaking Amish (have you guys seen it?!). She casually mentioned a family friend with six kids who was raving about the doctor who delivered her youngest child. My ears perked up and I started asking questions. Long story short: this doctor was kind, personable, and did a happy dance while she was in labor (I interpreted this to mean the mom wasn’t just a dollar sign and he actually ENJOYED birthing babies). This doctor also prayed with her after her first prenatal appointment. I was hooked after I learned that he had prayed with her.
I want nothing more than to have someone attend the birth of my baby who isn’t just there for the money. I want someone who is fascinated by birth and who finds joy in the miracle of life. Someone who sees every baby as a wonderful, brand new creation…no matter if he/she has seen 10 born that day. This doctor fit the bill so I asked Grace to get the name of the practice from her friend. The friend texted back, and to my amazement, I learned that this doctor was at the same practice that had the CNMs.
I called that afternoon and they had me in by the next day. As I pulled into the parking lot, I was feeling a little nervous and a little guilty, honestly. I felt this way because I hadn’t done any research on the practice. I felt that since I wanted a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean), I should’ve done a little more work to get a doctor. I didn’t even know if this practice accepted VBAC patients and I was afraid they would turn me away. I glanced at the clock as I was getting out of my car, and it read 2:22. Those of you that know me, know that this is always God’s little way of nudging me and reminding me that he is in something. So needless to say, I felt at peace right away.
Once inside, I began the paperwork. Oh, my heavens…the paperwork! It took about 40 minutes – no exaggeration! My appointment was with Vicki, one of three CNMs at the practice. She actually came out into the waiting room to greet me while I was filling out paperwork – no nurse/physician has ever done that to me before – so I was immediately impressed by her. During my appointment, I fell in love with her! She was lively, kind, happy…and most of all, reassuring. She said so many things to encourage me in my decision to VBAC, and although she can’t deliver me (thanks for that, Alabama!), she promised to set me up with someone who wasn’t just “okay” with allowing me to VBAC, but who would encourage me to do so. HAPPY DANCE!
So yeah. I felt very taken care of while there! I am so excited about working with this practice for the rest of my pregnancy! 🙂 Oh, and get this! I also learned that the on-call doctor who delivered Harper (who I absolutely LOVED because she was so nice to me while I was crying) used to work at this same practice. So neat and special!
I’m happy that this worked itself out and that I don’t have to worry about it anymore. What a major stress relief!