To Mother A Daughter

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To mother a daughter. It was one of my greatest desires in life, and also one of my greatest fears.

The thought of having a daughter has always terrified me. I don’t know how you can want something to happen, and be afraid of it at the same time, but I did and I was. I had so many fears.

I mean….what if she turns out like this:

or this

or this

or this

Seriously, so many fears. What if she likes Nickelback or Creed? What if she hates Harry Potter? What if we have nothing in common? What if she is super girly and wants me to teach her how to wear make up? What if she likes the color pink? Obviously, I’m being silly with some of these fears, but a few of them are legit.

When I finally met my daughter, after years of dreaming and being afraid, I saw that I had nothing to fear. I realized that all I needed to do was let go. I needed to drop any preconceived notion of who Emrist should be and embrace who she is. I needed to model unconditional love to her. That one was pretty easy. But I also realized something a little more difficult. That I needed to give that same unconditional love to myself. Emrist is going to learn how to view herself by watching me and listening to the things I say about myself. If I stand in front of a mirror and say a bunch of negative things about myself, she will eventually model that behavior. Talk about pressure. I really don’t want that for my daughter, so I’m trying my best to change how I view myself.

One of my favorite songs right now is Elliana’s Song by Watermark. It really says it all for me:

Elliana, God has answered my prayers
Elliana, God will conquer my fears
To mother a daughter, to look you in the eye
To know that I had everything, to walk with you in life
To give you to Jesus that He would impart
The wisdom that I’m longing for to mother your heart
Elliana, God has answered my prayers

Whenever I catch myself entertaining those old fears, I start singing these lyrics. God will conquer my fears. And he does, every single time!

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She is the bomb dot com.

 

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One thought on “To Mother A Daughter

  1. Bekah says:

    You have nothing to fear. You are a fantastic model of love to your children. This made me tear up. . .seriously. . .because, although I only have boys (so far) I often think these same things because who I am, how I act, etc will have such a big effect on how my boys choose their wives.
    You are such a great mom and Emrist has an amazing woman to look up to and Harper will have his work cut out in finding a woman as awesome as his mama to marry one day! 🙂

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