I’m tired. All day, every day. A consequence of staying at home during the day and waiting tables at night? Or maybe just a consequence of growing older and having two kids? Who knows. Who cares. But I nap just about every day in order to survive. My house is neglected. This blog is neglected (it has been three months since my last update!). But my children and husband are well-loved and cared for, so I’m hoping it’s okay.
May I ask you all a question? What are your homes REALLY like on the inside? I’m not talking about what it looks like three seconds before a guest arrives. What does it look like throughout the week, when you’re not expecting company? Does it look like my choatic, lived-in home? Or does it look like what I picture for you? When I imagine what my friends’ homes might look like on an average day, I always picture something like an Orbitz Gum commercial. A well-organized, well-put together home, clean…with that little sparkly ding that comes at the end of every Orbitz commercial.
That is so not my house. We live in chaos. It includes toys all over the floor 24/7, dirty dishes in the sink (and on the countertops), clean clothes piled on the couch waiting to be put away, etc. etc. etc.
And you know what I ask myself on the bad days? Is this normal, or am I just lazy? Is it lazy of me to rest when the kids do, instead of cleaning my house? Honestly…sometimes I feel like I’m missing some sort of godly superwoman trait that would allow me to run a more organized home. “Hey, uhhh…what am I doing wrong here, God?” There are times when I feel compelled to drive myself into the ground cleaning, even though my work will likely be destroyed in two seconds flat when Todd wakes up from his nap. In those moments, I clean, and clean and clean hoping that I’ll measure up to whatever it is I’m comparing myself to.
But you know what? I never do. I never measure up. If I have a perfectly clean home, something else slips. Dinner…time with my kids/husband…time for myself…rest. I can’t do it all.
I. DON’T. MEASURE. UP.
Why is that? Because I suck at being a wife and mom? No. I
think know it’s because I’m measuring myself against the wrong things. Pinterest. Facebook. Twitter. Friends. First-time moms. Sixth-time moms. Family. In Laws. Etc.
None of those things are me though, so of course I’m not going to measure up. God didn’t create me to measure up. He created me to just be me.
I texted my mom about a month ago when I was having a really bad day. She had four kids, while working full-time – hello, awesome?! I told her I felt like I was drowning in a sea of laundry and dishes and I just wanted to know how she did it with four.
This is what she said:
“I felt that way too, but I just did what I could and made sure everyone had dinner. If you never take any advice from me, hear this. Do what you can, but don’t put off spending time with Benji and the kids, getting outside and doing fun things. Laundry will wait, but your family won’t and you will regret it if you have a spotless house, but never spend time playing with your kids. They will grow up, but the housework will always be there!” And then she followed it up with perhaps the best advice ever. “And use paper plates whenever possible.”
HAHA!! That last line cracked me up.
But seriously. That text was like an aha moment for me. Stop comparing myself to everyone else, and just….BE! Enjoy my babies and my husband and be in the moment with them. Even if it involves tripping over toys that are strewn about the floor 😉