Monthly Archives: December 2013

Opinion #1,000,647 On Phil Robertson

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(Photo Source)


I’ve been reading opinions all week. I actually got to a point where I stopped clicking because I was tired of reading opinions….so it’s funny that now I’m here sharing mine. I really don’t care if you read it. I just needed to get it off my chest.

You see….I have an overly empathetic personality. I hear that empathy is supposed to be a gift. Well, I view it more as a curse at times. Yeah sure…it has it’s perks. It makes me more personable and enables me to be kinder to people because I am constantly putting myself in their shoes in order to feel what they feel. I even have a few friendships that I can truly say are there because of my ability to empathize.

On the flip side though, I sometimes can’t even enjoy the warmth of my own bed without “the curse” creeping in and telling me there is someone, somewhere, sleeping on a freezing bench, which on more than one occasion has sent me to bed in tears.

My heart feels really heavy sometimes – almost unbearably so – because of the way I feel after reading and seeing certain things. This week, my heart has been heavy with Duck Dynasty and homosexuality. After several nights of going to bed sad, I decided to blog about it so hopefully I can feel some peace. I felt this same way when all the Chick-fil-a business went down last year, but I never voiced my feelings because honestly…I was afraid. It’s time for me to stop being afraid though.

Let me preface this by saying I love Duck Dynasty. Benji and I don’t have cable, so we usually watch it online. We love it. LOVE it. They remind me of my family, so I feel a deep connection with them even though we are complete strangers. I really and truly enjoy their show.

However, you will not find an “I stand with Phil Robertson” or an “I support Phil Robertson. PERIOD.” icon on my Facebook page. And here’s why:

I know that a lot of Christians are hellbent on “love the sinner, hate the sin.” Fine, whatever, but can I tell you my experience with something similar? When I was a child, I went to the doctor for one of my well checkups. I wasn’t overweight yet, but my eating habits were well on their way to sending me there. I remember being completely blindsided and…hurt, at this particular well visit. The doctor, who obviously felt he was doing his job by warning me of the inherent danger ahead, told me that if I didn’t stop and turn from my ways, I would end up being carried around in the back of a truck because I would be too big to fit inside of it.

I’m 27 years old, and I can still feel the drop in my gut when he said it. The shame. The guilt. The filthiness. The gluttony. All of it washed over me through his words, and all at once, I felt alone and not good enough. I still remember it so clearly.

This one moment has affected me on a daily basis, ever since it happened. Something that this doctor saw, not as mean, but instead as part of his job and as a “must” say, has at times led me to feel far from God, and far from both friends and family alike. Over the past 20 years, I cannot count the times I’ve looked in the mirror with disgust and self-hate because of what was planted in my head that day. I still struggle with food and my weight. Although he had the best of intentions, nothing he said changed me for the better. It actually changed me for the worse, and hurt me deeply.

This is why I cannot and will not ever tell someone the “err” of their ways. I don’t care if they are a drug dealer or a drug taker. A liar. An adulterer. A gossip. A girl who doesn’t cover her hair when she prays. A glutton. A homosexual. A heterosexual. A thief. A girl who wears jewelry or makeup. A politician. A guy who shaves. Someone covered in tattoos. An alcoholic. A dirty-mouthed sailor. Etc. Etc. Etc.

I. Don’t. Care. It is not my job to have a stance on someone else’s life. My job is to love God and to love my neighbor. Put even more simply, my job is to love.

Love is so much more powerful than words, y’all. If you really want to lead people to Jesus, love them. And I mean the no-strings-attached kind of love. Just LOVE them and accept them as they are. Don’t look at them as a project to be worked on. No. Show them love, acceptance, and friendship. If God sees fit to change someone, then let him do the changing. I can assure you….he is big enough to change someone, even if that someone ends up being you.

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Lovely Little Snowflake

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(The difference between March and November! Photo on the left was taken by Rachel Stricklin and the photo on the right was taken by Jennifer Nicholson)

Sigh. Somehow I am here….posting about how Em just turned one. I have a ONE year old, people! Again. How is this possible? One of the best things about your second child, at least in my humble “I don’t know a thing” opinion, is that you have a knowledge that you didn’t have with your first. The knowledge that the sweet baby phase goes by hell-a fast and you better enjoy it while it lasts. Since I kinda rushed things with Harp, I tried to enjoy every moment with Em…even the not so fun ones. Newborn screaming fits that couldn’t be figured out (not very many of them fortunately), 1Am and 3AM feedings…..yawn, 3 hour feeding schedules, diaper blowouts, having to avoid red lights lest I wake the sleeping baby, etc. I really did try to savor every little thing! I tried to commit it all to memory. And yet…here I sit trying to remember the sound she used to make while sleeping, and for the life of me, I can’t. WTH. In some ways, I feel like time went by even faster than it did with Harp. Does it speed up with each child?

So in the blink of an eye, my itty bitty newborn turned into a one year old chunky firecracker. And let me tell you guys…she is AMAZING! Oh, how I love her! She has added so much joy to our family 🙂

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She is super affectionate and cuddly. She loves to talk. I had always heard that girls are quicker at picking up on language when compared with boys. Well, that’s definitely true for Em. Verbally, she is where Harper was at 15-18 months. This may also have something to do with her being #2. But yeah…she talks all the time. Real words and babbles. When she babbles, she looks at you like she is having a real convo with you and she expects a response. Her facial expressions when she does this are hilarious (mainly her furrowed brow lol)!

She loves her brother! A lot. Daddy is definitely her favorite though. I’m trying not to be too jealous since this is the natural law of the universe…”daddy’s girls” and all. Let’s see. She loves to eat. However, unlike Harp, she will eventually get to a point where she STOPS. Harp is a bottomless pit! She loves fruit, crackers, and broccoli. Over Thanksgiving, she tried ham (we don’t usually buy it because I’m the only one in the house who likes it), and it was like someone had given her candy!

She loves to swing…a lot. She giggles like crazy when you push her really high. She is daring, and very brave. She enjoys anything that takes her breath away. She reminds me of Benji in that way. She has a quick, fiery temper (a lot like mine) and is perhaps the most stubborn human being I’ve ever met…even more stubborn than my mom 😉 She is special, and I see bits and pieces of Benji and me, as well as several of our family members all wrapped up into her tiny little frame. And at the same time, she is uniquely her own. She is amazing, and words can’t describe how much I love her.

With her being our second, I had a good many people tell me that I wouldn’t document her like I did Harper. That I would take fewer pictures and make fewer notes of her milestones, etc. etc. Well…the thought of her being 20 years old and having fewer memories written down or on camera because she wasn’t born first made me sad so I tried to keep up with what I did for Harper. I wrote letters to her in her notebook. I took a ton of pictures and videos. I documented milestones.  And, I made a video of her face changing, just like I did for him.  Let me just tell you…there is nothing more annoying than having to remember to take a picture once a day for months. I’m glad I did it with both of them, but I’m also glad it’s over lol. There’s one dad out there who did it every day for like ten years. I just can’t even…

Anyways, here is her video:

It has been such a great year! I look forward to many, many more! ❤