Maybe this will be long. Or maybe it will be short. I’m not really sure what it will look like considering I’ve never done it before. But be warned. I’m going to write with no purpose or plan…because I just need to do that today.
I’m going to write about my sister, Megan. Well…technically she was my stepsister, but I really hate calling her that. “Stepsister” makes me think of the mean stepsisters from Cinderella and she was nothing like that. Perhaps just calling her my best friend would be more accurate? That’s really what she was…we just happened to also be related by marriage.
I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned her in a post or two before, but I don’t think I’ve ever actually written a post solely about her here. To be completely honest, when it comes to talking about her, I kind of avoid it like the plague. It brings up all sorts of feelings, good and bad, and I still feel raw from losing her. I’m not a “feelings” kind of gal…I mean, duh, I am. I have feelings. I just don’t enjoy talking about them. Whenever I do talk about them, I feel naked with a bunch of onlookers or something. I just don’t love it, mmkay? When it comes to grief, well that’s an especially private matter for me and I usually just keep it to myself.
So why am I opening up now? Well, one reason is because today is the date. If you’ve ever lost someone, you know what “the date” is. It’s the one day a year you wish you could wipe off the calendar. The date that reminds you that you still aren’t over it. The date that you dread for weeks in advance because you will be reliving what happened on that day. Today is the date for me…and this one is extra hard because it marks 14 years since Megan’s passing. She was 14 when she died, so she has officially been gone as long as she was here, and that’s a hard concept for me to swallow.
So there’s that. And then there’s the fact that I was thinking about her yesterday and I couldn’t remember what her voice sounded like and that really upset me. I started panicking over what else I may have forgotten since she’s been gone, and I started recalling some wonderful memories with her. I decided it would be good to document them before my faulty brain decides to trash them. So that’s what I’m going to do today. I’m just going to write memories.
*She loved, loved, LOVED Taco Bell. Whenever we would go, she would get the Nacho Bell Grande, and it would take her half a century to eat it. She wasn’t done until every last drop had been cleaned off her plate (she would take her finger and drag it across, then lick the cheese off her finger lol). I’m so serious when I say it would take her 45 minutes to eat it!
*Driving. Yeah, I know she was underage, but she loved to drive. She actually scared the crap out of me one time by taking me for an unsuspected spin on the interstate. Yes, folks….14 years olds driving on the interstate lol. I still can’t believe it myself.
*When we would go to our favorite Mexican restaurant, she would always order cheese dip. She would get so mad at me for first dipping my chip into the salsa, and then into the cheese. She HATED having them mixed.
*She was boy CRAZY! Anytime we went to the beach, we would have to take disposable cameras so that she could walk by and snap pictures of any guy she thought was cute.
*When we’d go to sleep at night, we would give each other timed back rubs until we fell asleep. I would do a minute and then she would do a minute. Occasionally we would draw pictures on each other’s backs instead of a plain back rub.
*We would tell people we were twins because our birthdays were one day apart and we had the same middle name.
*While at school one day, I received a threatening note from a girl in my grade that wanted to beat me up. I was pretty much resigned to getting my butt kicked. I told Megan about it and she came to my school’s football game that Friday and stood by my side/defended me when the girl approached me. I didn’t have a problem after that lol.
*She sometimes called me Nicky.
*She loved to sleep and was NOT fun to wake up.
*We snuck out of the house together in the middle of the night once. We walked to the park, hung out with some of our friends, and then crawled back in through the window before dawn. (All of you reading this who have teens…is this scaring the crap out of you yet?).
*One time we visited my great aunt, and we rolled down the hill in her front yard until we both had holes in our jeans.
*Y2K. We celebrated by mooning our entire family. Happy New Years, y’all!
*She was brave. She really wasn’t afraid of anything. She was always game for anything exciting. She loved knee boarding, riding roller coasters, skating and just going fast. She was always trying to get me to ride roller coasters with her, and I was too afraid. She said I would love it. I finally did it when I was 18, and she was right. I loved it!
*We rarely fought, but when we did…it was intense. One time we got into a fight over a basketball (lol). I walked away with a cut to my gums and she left with a bright red, perfect handprint on her skin. We were also fond of pulling each other’s hair.
Okay. I’m going to stop here because Benji needs the laptop, but I plan on making this page a running log of memories of her. I just want to remember everything!
If you knew her, and have anything you’d like to add, feel free to comment! This can be a page for you as well 🙂